Its been a solid two months or so since I last posted the introduction. I have finally finished my First Year of University! YAY, I survived exams (about 2 months ago.. but still worth celebrating haha! How have you been doing? I'm sure some of you are still in school, or some of you are working or travelling. My plans for the next two months are kind of dull. Don't have much to do other than this volunteering opportunity at the hospital that I have, which is very fun and rewarding! For confidentiality reasons, I unfortunately can't share any details with you, but I'd love to hear about what you're doing! Let me know by following me on Instagram and I'll follow you back @xo_jolee_ox or just email or comment to me :D Shout out to some new readers from the UK, France and Mauritius, glad to have you reading along :)
This next part of the 5 post series will be on Emptiness. I find that this is a common feeling associated with many individuals, especially between the teen years and early adulthood. However, a lot of the time people don't actually associate their behavioral patterns, emotions, or even tone of speech with feeling empty. Sometimes it takes time to reflect before you realize that everything that's changed lately has been because you've become more empty. Now, I use the term empty lightly and rather broadly, but before we go on, I'd just like to define what I mean by emptiness to a certain extent. To me, emptiness is a void, a lack thereof, or just the feeling of a missing piece (whatever that may be caused by). For this particular topic, I chose to express my opinions through a free-verse styled poem. Feel free to let me know your opinions too!
Eaten Alive
Eternal darkness, with a depth deeper than the soul can bear
Like a tsunami of 20 feet
clawing and rolling, biting everything it meets.
Curled in a fetal position,
being swallowed wave after wave.
Yet what goes through the mind?
Nothing
No flash backs, no pain, no memories.
Emptiness
The yearning to be remembered
the yearning to remember
to yearn to belong,
to belong where no one else knows you even exist.
As shadows swallow the soul
the need to feel loved
to feel wanted
for a purpose, is something
one can't suppress,
but displays itself with a void.
Who can fill this void?
A love interest, a friend, family?
Hobbies, books, movies?
A hidden identity?
A step away from reality?
I believe we long for the feeling
of a greater person.
A comforter in which we know
has our life in his hands.
Not a genie, and not exactly a ghost
Perhaps our creator,
Someone who knows.
Who can tell us why we are remembered,
a reason for others to remember us,
a reason to prove we do belong, even when we feel invisible.
To provide for us a love interest
To help us make amends with friends and families
To bring us back to a reality where
the world is but as broken as we are,
where the void is in everyone.
A place where darkness swallows
and wraps around every corner
waiting for the light.
With just a bit of faith
the brokenness heals.
One becomes the light.
With just a bit of faith
maybe tonight,
We won't be eaten alive.
Like a tsunami of 20 feet
clawing and rolling, biting everything it meets.
Curled in a fetal position,
being swallowed wave after wave.
Yet what goes through the mind?
Nothing
No flash backs, no pain, no memories.
Emptiness
The yearning to be remembered
the yearning to remember
to yearn to belong,
to belong where no one else knows you even exist.
As shadows swallow the soul
the need to feel loved
to feel wanted
for a purpose, is something
one can't suppress,
but displays itself with a void.
Who can fill this void?
A love interest, a friend, family?
Hobbies, books, movies?
A hidden identity?
A step away from reality?
I believe we long for the feeling
of a greater person.
A comforter in which we know
has our life in his hands.
Not a genie, and not exactly a ghost
Perhaps our creator,
Someone who knows.
Who can tell us why we are remembered,
a reason for others to remember us,
a reason to prove we do belong, even when we feel invisible.
To provide for us a love interest
To help us make amends with friends and families
To bring us back to a reality where
the world is but as broken as we are,
where the void is in everyone.
A place where darkness swallows
and wraps around every corner
waiting for the light.
With just a bit of faith
the brokenness heals.
One becomes the light.
With just a bit of faith
maybe tonight,
We won't be eaten alive.
Hopefully that was open to your interpretation, and not completely close-minded. It was my take on my emptiness. You may find it vague, and indirect, or perhaps in ways too direct. But I just wish that it could be reflective. From what I believe, I think my faith helps me with my emptiness. As a Christian, I believe in a greater purpose for my life. The emptiness or void I may feel may be a lack of a relationship with Christ. I won't try to convert you, and neither will I hold back my devotion to my faith. But believe what you choose to believe. Ask questions where you choose to ask questions. But know one thing, regardless of whatever religion, faith or lack there of that you practice - the world is a corrupt place, filled with broken people who are being swallowed by pride, emptiness, lack of trust, loss of hope - you name it. What this world needs is people with a light, people with hope, those who have the capacity to love. We are all empty somewhere inside, and we all have a void that needs to be filled. Just a little spark of kindness could fill gaps among people. Just a little bit of hope can bring someone up from the slumps. First, I believe, one needs to know what is drilling their void deeper and eating them up alive. But my golden rule for those who are willing to help the empty, is to be kind - always.
Hopefully that was not dull, but rather reflective. Feel free to leave comments, message me directly, or anything if you have questions or would like to state your opinion. Glad to have fellow bloggers and readers to share inputs and ideas with. Here's just a quick song (as tradition) haha. Straight off Youtube, Danny Gokey singing Tell Your Heart To Beat Again. If you have never heard of the backstory to this song, I suggest you search it up, it's rather inspiring. No matter how deep your emptiness may be, simply tell your heart to breath again and step into a light of tomorrow where you can climb your way out.
Till Next Time!
Music is for Healing <3
Music is for Healing <3
JLogging it ~ JoLee ^_^
@xo_jolee_ox
